Lessons Were Learned

Ahhhh. My sweetest blog. I've left you abbandoned and forgotten for such a long time! Damn, it feels like forever since the last time I was here! ha.

I was about to go to sleep. I was already in my bed with my eyes closed and I was pretty tired. But then, on that time between you going to bed and you start sleeping, I started having random thoughts and one of them was about my oldie blog. Don't ask me how I got there, I don't know either x)) I just remembered. So I thought I'd turn my laptop back on and have a look. See if it still exists, see if I got any reply, look at my old posts, etc.

First thing I notice, was I still remember the password! ahahah, but putting jokes aside, the first thing I see after I login my blog is a shitload of spam bots speaking fucking Indonesian in my chatbox and spamming the whole chat with links to sites that are as useful as the vision of 17 bats.
Second, I notice that I had lots of visitors since last time. I'm so awesome. And third, I giggled and smiled at my old posts. "teeheee" I thought =) I think the funny part of having a blog and updating it often is the fact that you can see your old posts and get a lot of memories back. And think how time flies, the good and the hard times you had...

Basically I will just post whatever I feel like here.

Lots of things happened to me these last few months. Let's see...

I passed all the first trimester subjects in my university! woooooooot!! all 6 subjects :D I'm studying these few days for the final exams of the year for the other 6 subjects for the second trimester. If I can pass them all as well, I can finish my freshman year at university and move on to the next! woooooo! So I gotta give it all now because after these, comes the summer holidays and I will be able to rest. So this is my time to shine!

I am single now. And not sad about it. I learned a lesson from my relationship that ended in a break up. Actually, I learned many things and I feel like the whole experience made me more mature, more thoughtful (in the good way) and less naive. I'm more experienced than ever now and the next relationship I have, I will take into account what worked, what didn't and the lessons I learned from my mistakes from my last relationship. I know that all women are different and therefore all relationships are different but I mean the lessons in general that apply to all (or most) relationships.


I learned one thing. Love can make you blind sometimes. Really really blind. and if you have a stubborn, determined or the "think you're right all the time" personality type, that will cause you a lot of trouble. You will make very stupid things and choices if you really like someone, and some might ruin your life. I didn't ruin my life fortunately but I made mistakes that are unchangable now and will last for the history.
I learned another thing. That blindness you have when you're in love makes it hard for yourself to see when a relationship is wrong for you. You think it's right. You think you're happier with somebody. You think that person means everything to you, you love him or her more than anything. You can't imagine life without him or her. Even people around you tell you that it's not fine the things that you are doing or that are happening in the relationship or in the life that we face everything and is somehow related to our relationship.But we often ignore those people (including our friends and family sometimes) and we enter in denial when we think they are against us and we are the ones who are right. But that's not always the case. Or should I say, it's rarely the case.

After we snap out of it, IF and I said "IF" we can snap out of it, then we realize everything. Blindness is gone, and we realize what we did wrong, the stupid things and choices we did because we were so blinded, the mistakes that are unrepairable, the thoughts we had that could have ruined our life if they became true... but seemed the right thing to do for the relationship and for the one we love...

The most difficult part is breaking up. It might seem horrible and unthinkable when you're in love in the relationship that you just keep that possibility as away as possible. and that's how I learned it. The hard way. And I realized all the shit I did and what I could have done and fortunately I haven't... Thank God it's over. It doesn't hurt anymore now. I feel like the right thing happened. I don't regret my decision and I feel like it's the best that could have happened and it's better this way.

Finally, I learned that life goes on, there are many good women out there, I take my lessons from this and I won't make the same mistakes again and I will try to control and deliberate very well about every move I go and every step a relationship takes. I'm better off on my own. I want to find a girlfriend and hope to find one someday but being alone is not as bad as one would think. It means FREEDOM. No obeying rules, no holding back, no having to waste time with someone, no nothing. you're free to do whatever you want, whenever you want with whoever you want!! ;)

Life goes on!

You used to be cool

What happened to you? you used to be cool, you used to be nice, unique, talkative when you feel confortable, had strong wishes and desires.... now I just see you doing what others want you to do, no power of will, cold, distant... This is not the girl I once loved. Gotta ask yourself the question: Who are you now? The time we spent talking about everything and nothing, doing everything and nothing together... Those times now seem so far away. And the new you with all the problems seems here to stay. I can't believe this happened to you.
I loved you from head to toes but those people who are influencing you are people who can't fool me. You were a great girl always happy, always smiling, now you always have a drama face, I see you losing the spark day by day, week by week. Stop it. Everyone already noticed that you don't have a happy face.
You have your whole life ahead, be careful what you wanna do and what you wanna be. Be yourself.

Dear you,

Everytime I listen to Simple Plan, I think of you.

Everytime I think of earrings, I think of you.

Everytime I think of China, I think of you.

Everytime I think about Christmas, I think of you.

Everytime I think of cookie, I think of you.

Everytime I think of foreign languages, I think of you.

Everytime I eat something spicy, I think of you.

Everytime I think of sex, I think of you.

Everytime I smile, I think of you.

Everytime I take a shower, I wish you were at my side.

Everytime I go to sleep, I wish you were on the bed laying next to me.



Everytime I think of you, I wanna cry.

tired

Dear you,

It's 12:36pm right now and I woke up an hour ago. I stayed up until 5:30am here on the pc, I never stayed up so late in my life on the pc to try and talk to you and fix our arguement, appologize and make things right again.
I was very sleepy and tried to best to hold on as much as I could but you just acted like you didn't give 2 shits about me. yes, I realize you were upset.

I went to sleep with things unsolved.

When I woke up at 11am (i had 6 miserable hours of sleep), I checked my cell phone. It had a message from you at 7:14am saying "if you wanna make things right, meet me on qq now".

I stayed up until 5:30am to solve it, I was very sleepy and tired so I went to bed and your message did not wake me up. I do want to make things right, trust me, that's my number 1 wish right now, but I would really appreaciate if you thought about my side too and give me another chance.


Sincerely,
Mr. Know it all.

The day I saw snow again

My name's Chris. I was born in an average country to an average family in an average city. Not rich, not poor country. Middle class family. Average size city.

When i was a kid, i went to Serra da Estrela, the highest mountain in Portugal with my family on a family weekend visit. It's a place known for having snow every winter. I was just 7 years old. And then... I saw snow once again on January 29, 2006. Yup... I remember the exact day. It was a day to remember. I was 13, nearly 14.
That time was a special occasion because i saw snow on my hometown.

The reason I love you

The reason I love you is all that we're been through. I love you.

three

How ironic that I'm updating this exactly one month after my last update.

This time, I'm gonna be short because I pretty much said to you directly what I wanted to say.

Wo ai wo de nv peng you :)

it's looking really good for us.Keep going! :)




always.