Monday, March 10, 2014

What The Hell Is Wrong With Me?

Time goes by. Now I'm nearly 22 years old (I turn 22 next month) and I noticed something that I have a feeling inside me recently that I never had much before until now. That feeling has been getting stronger and stronger recently. I started to look at women a lot more the past time and now am I actively searching for a relationship. I wish I can find a relationship... but things aren't that easy. There are a few women that I am interested in but they either don't see me the same way I see them, they are far away from me or because I simply don't think a relationship between us would work. I am under a bit of pressure too (although I like that because I can work better, or in this case, study better under pressure) because if I fail one more subject this semester, I will have to stay in my university for another year after next one which should be my senior year. So this is it, a lot will depend on how much I can study and focus on my studies these comming months and how well I can perform on the tests.

If I can finish my degree in the summer of next year, I feel like I would be the happiest person in the world. To achieve something like this has been a result of many adventures, frustrations, happiness, sacrifice and luck. After that, I am quite excited to start doing what I like and entering the labour market.

I am young and full of ambition and I have to make most of this stage of my life. I feel like after I finish my degree, I can trully focus of finding someone that I can spend my life with and that desire has been growing stronger and stronger these past times inside of me. Recently, I am so easy to get a crush on someone, to see someone as interesting or someone I would like to have a relationship with... it's like I can't even control it. In a way I want to to these women better and maybe start a relationship with them now before I lose my chance, but I know I shouldn't do that because I should be someone in life first. But it's getting harder and harder to resist...

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