Dating an Introvert Girl

Ah, introverts. Interesting people. I was always interested and curious about them. So many unique distinctive things they hold, so many secrets they keep... I was lucky enough that during my life there were many introverts that opened up to me and included me in their own little world apart from everyone else. A world inside another world if you will.


Sometimes not the easiest people to get along with as they can act shy and many people will interpret them as "unfriendly" or "arrogant" when really, what they really want is to be alone and for you to stop choking them and give them some space. Introverts feel unconfortable with being the center of attention and people around them being concerned about them.
You need to be patient, understanding, keep your mind open and be interested in what they are saying if you want to have any chance of getting close to these people. And don't act too aggressive or hasty otherwise you will probably scare them all and it will likely be difficult to regain their trust as these people are harder to trust and feel confortable with strangers and easier to label you after their first impressions.

 Sounds simple enough, right?

 But now I'm trying to look deeper than that. Into the world of love relationships. Relationships with introverts.... sounds like a challenge. It won't be easy but if you're in the situation as me where you're trying to get to know an introvert girl better, getting close her, trying to take your friendship into a whole new level that could potentially lead to a long-term relationship, there are a few things we must take into consideration as well as some questions...


 First, let's start with the most important one: How much space do they need?

Am I talking to her too much? am I being annoying? am I trying too hard to reach her? why does she take days before she replies my texts or any other messages sometimes? This is complicated. Even I struggle with this... Sometimes I really want to tell my news, what's going on in my life, my daily stories, I want someone to talk to about everything and nothing but... it might take too much attention to them and they're not really confortable with this. Actually, I think the best thing to do in this case is to talk about exactly this and reach some kind of short term deal aboout how things should work between us 2. Other than that, you will both have to figure out women logic and introvert logic.


Second, What are their interests?
Let's face it: introverts are not the kind of people that would go to the disco everyday or have a party every week in someone's house. That's why they're introverts. They spend most of their time indoors doing activities such as being on the internet, reading books, studying or any other intellectual activity you can think of. These people usually have a lot of general knowledge or know a lot about a certain field (I guess thanks to google). When they DO go to parties, they are not exactly the soul of the of party either... they tend to be mostly quiet and around the people they feel confortable with often their best friends (they don't have many friends either). But in reality, if their mind they are very wild and would like to party with their loved ones and the people they really trust and make a crazy party with them and party like there's no tomorrow. That's my idea at least....


Third, how to get close to them?
This part can be quite tricky. If you rush them or pressure them too much they will spot you and will try to keep their distance from you and push you away. You have to be extremely patient and go slowly, day by day, one step at once, take your time and eventually your introvert sweetheart will slowly begin opening herself to you. Patience and endurance is the key. 
Try to find a common ground. Common interests. A series you both like a band you both like. A hobby you're both into. Once you do, you need to think out to use them in order to get closer to them. All I can say is, be creative and remember to go slowly.

Fourth, meeting their friends 
So, you got to the part where your crush likes you enough to introduce you to her friends. This usually means one of two things: 1) They like you enough to show you off to her friends and therefore that means that there's a good chance she's into you or 2) She is seeking advice from her friends and wants them to meet you to have a more clear idea whether or not you're the right kind of person. In other words: she is waiting to see what her friends think of you, she's waiting for them to judge you.
Keep is mind that introverts do not have many friends but the ones they do have are usually have a very close bond they're close to them as if they were a part of their family (especially if they're an only child) which means they are very important people in your crush's life in many ways and getting along with them is crucial so this is a very important step.


Fifth, after you do get close to them - life in a relationship
So, you've done everything right so far and you got into a relationship but you have no clue what to do now. So what's next?
It won't be easy at first if you're not an introvert like her but if you really like each other, you will get used to it in time. Remember that it is essencial to keep an open communication just like in any other relationship and discuss things such as personal space, what you consider as cheating behaviour, what you expect from the relationship, what you like and what could be improved and so on.
In my eyes, the most difficult thing to deal with it the matter of how much personal space each should get because I feel like one mistake in this can seriously harm the relationship because introverts are particularly easy to lose interest or get tired if they take too much of their personal space. I guess it's a matter of discussing that between you 2. But remember that you also have a life outside the relationship, you have your interests and your partner has hers and you don't have to be around one another 24/7 and do everything together. Spend time together. But it's the quality of the time that you spend together that matters, not the quantity. Keep that in mind.


I wrote this based on psychology and sociology articles that I read as well as personal experience, in hope you give some tips and clues and enlighten people who have never had experience in dealing with this kind of people before but, like me, have a crush and are interested in an introvert girl and would like to have a chance with her...

And that's it. I will do things as I wrote here. I am a junior in university this year. This is my last shot at a real relationship for now. If this doesn't work, I will just focus on improving myself, dealing with other aspects of life and leave relationships for a later stage... But damn, this lonelyness is getting harder to cope with.