They all say I go too fast. They all say it takes time to grow. Appearently they never heard of something called love at first sight. I don't choose to fall in love with someone. I don't choose when to fall in love to someone. I don't choose who I fall in love with. It just happens, and it happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. There's a reason for everything.
They say first cut is the deepest. But when your heart is cut again and again and again, it hurts. it really does. Just when I thought I got over one, I get more miserable again with the next one.
What should I do?
Sometimes I see the assholes getting all the women with their annoying and cruel "I don't give a shit" attitude and it really pisses me off. I try to be nice to them, respect them, make them laugh, give them a good time and in the end I always get friendzoned, rejected and ignored.... Being ignored is like the worst punishment anyone can give me. I really don't know how to deal with it. When I try to reach the girl who is ignoring me, it would just make me look more desperate and miserable everytime I try to reach her.... Every text message I send, every facebook message I send.
It's like a struggle for power where I am always the one losing and appologizing and chasing after in the end... why does it have to be like this? Maybe I am too easily manipulated? Am I too naive? Too nice? Too afraid of making others upset? I don't know...
An author once wrote: "Life is a shit and it's not worth living it"....
"You bring sunshine to everyone around you" - That's a sentence I was told more than once by my friends. I bring happiness around me wherever I go, they say. But they don't know that deep down, I am more miserable than they probably will ever be and I got no reason to smile myself. Who's gonna bring sunshine to my life...?
I'm just tired, I need time. That's all. Sometimes I just wanna be on my own, breathing fresh air and crying my lungs out.
No comments:
Post a Comment